- Rosanne Bostonian
Right Soothing, Wrong Soothing
Everyone needs to be soothed, especially now. Unfortunately, there is no Soothing School. We either figure out what makes us feel calmer, more centered, or we don’t. Some of what we learn to apply to our irritated wounds I call “wrong soothing.”
Addictions are usually wrong soothing. The definition of wrong soothing is an action that gives you a quick relief, but in the long run, creates a black hole. The hole can either be relationship problems, health problems, work problems…or all of the above.
Right soothing is a lot harder to grasp. In fact, strategies for right soothing usually require a trip through wrong soothing to learn. Soothing oneself without long term negative consequences isn’t generally taught until we mess things up. That’s why the Buddhists say “lean into the sharp object.” That means that on the other side of creating trouble is a valuable lesson.
We’re now in quarantine and in need of soothing. Any elements of imbalance are intensified because our structure and routines are disrupted. In addition, we are in close quarters with ourselves and others, magnifying and intensifying emotions and thoughts that are usually less intense. We can easily resort to wrong soothing, that is eating excessively, drinking, watching mind numbing TV, or (worst choice) binge watching Coronavirus updates.
In your coping toolbox, maybe there are some right soothing choices. Check them out and see if you can think out of the default box and come up with a few ways to pass time that don’t create a long terms debt to yourself that you’ll have to repay later.
Sending you the best energy from which to craft solutions!