In my years of psychology practice, I’ve encountered a lot of folks who don’t believe who they are is lovable. This stance creates the need to consistently manufacture an ego identity crafted of trauma. To not feel intrinsically lovable is to don a perennial mask. It’s exhausting!
When someone really knows the authentic you, and loves that person, the ultimate love is experienced. Here’s the problem: Under the mask version of you (nice, loving and civil) is the angry, rejected version of you. In the first stages of self-exploration, that’s a questionable reward! We generally retreat to the masked version, not believing there’s anything more to be known.
Yes, at the first sight of “unlovable me,” we usually slap the mask back in place. A majority of life is lived between those two states. To free ourselves of that futility, we need to have the courage to say:
I’m not sure what’s under the unlovable feeling, but I’m willing to explore it and not retreat to the masked version of me.
In Christian lore, both the mask and the unlovability aspects are known as “the child of man,” or the material version of human identity. The deep authenticity within us is the Child of God. Getting through the superficial layers is daunting, but it’s the ultimate journey and some refer to it as The Spiritual Path.
Spiritual work isn’t designed to make a more acceptable mask! It’s not designed to cover our “uglies.” It’s designed to peel away layers of material being and expose the authentic Child of God.
To know oneself in this way is to live in a joyful state. It brings Heaven to Earth.
With love, Rosanne