After all the anticipation and celebration, we have the ceremonial divestiture of hoopla. This starts with the stripping of the Christmas tree (sad), and the dragging of its carcass to the curb (sadder). We even may cuss at the poor thing for leaving needles all over. If we had watered it properly, maybe it wouldn’t be seeking revenge!
Next, we have to decide which of the gifts we’ve received are keepers and which will go to a charity box. In guilt and shame, we sneak off to make our surreptitious deposits hoping against hope that the giver of the gift doesn’t have us under surveillance. Defaulting to gift cards is a better plan.
I personally know the holidays are over when the diet programs accelerate their advertising. Oprah is touting Weight Watchers. She’s touting while toting a few extra pounds and for that I give her major credit. I notice that there aren’t any full body shots though.
Then we have “chef created” healthy menus of all sorts on the internet. I’ve got to say, if that “chef” opened a restaurant, his clientele would consist of a few masochists who enjoy eating cardboard.
If the economical approaches don’t suit you, you can go for NJ Diet. For a mere few thousand dollars, you will be guided through a tailor-made regime and are guaranteed to lose 35-50 pounds in two months. They don’t tell you what to do with the dollops of skin you are wearing after the chub disappears. Maybe they refer you to NJ Plastic Surgery?
Ever present and looming is our political plight and the perennially talking heads whose rhetoric portends one disaster or another. Along with the lack of sunlight and vitamin D, this is the icing on the diet cake.
I choose to view it all from a position of tongue in cheek. Since I’m dieting, my tongue is the only thing in my mouth!
With love,
Rosanne